The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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