I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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