i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
