she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
