He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
