I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
