i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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