just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
