I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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