If i come over, it means nothing
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
what day is it and did you see me today?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
