There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
