Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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