i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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