TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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