dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
