I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
