Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
