I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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