i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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