it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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