Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Drunk is not a location!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
