Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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