My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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