I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Randomize
