Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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