Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
