It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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