glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
