This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
