I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
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