so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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