I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
