no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
