good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
be right there i have to get my cape
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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