The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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