I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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