This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
