Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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