Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
