? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
