he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
