I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
