I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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