I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
