She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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