you traded sex for a burrito?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize