I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
