YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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