So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize