I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
