our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
