Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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