The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
