I should be sponsored by Trojan
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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