Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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