i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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